Charisma isn’t something you’re born with. If you focus on it for a while, you’ll be able to get it.
Shop Plus Center has compiled a list of popular blunders that keep us from winning people over. We’d like to give some tips about how to stop them.
10. Presenting yourself in a nervous manner
We understand that introducing yourself to new people is challenging. And there’s a strong desire to simply wave to everyone and sit quietly in a dark corner.
- Why don’t you: You’ll probably come off as a closed-off person who isn’t interested in anyone.
- Doing it correctly: Let’s say “Hello/Hello! I’m (Your name)” Make eye contact and shake hands with all.
9. Failure to introduce your companions to the person with whom you’re conversing
You’re walking with a friend when they run into someone they know and begin conversing as you stand awkwardly beside them. Isn’t it familiar?
- Why not: This makes you think your friend is humiliated by someone, whether it’s you or a new acquaintance.
- Doing it right: It’ll suffice to tell “This is John,” and, of course, to add the acquaintances. Simple as pie, but everyone will feel more at ease right away, particularly the new employee.
8. Losing track of names
- Why not? You can always say that you have a poor memory, but that’s a lame excuse. You’ll be seen as a haughty snob.
- Doing it correctly: According to Dale Carnegie, a person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language to that person. There are a few basic methods for memorizing names. If your opponent says, “Hello, my name is Christian,” you should reply, “Hello Christian!” and then repeat his name at least twice in the following conversation.
7. Go on and on about things that no one cares about
If the people you’re talking to aren’t big movie fans, don’t get into a long discussion about a director’s technique. If they aren’t athletes, don’t worry about sports nutrition intricacies.
- Why don’t you: A monologue that no one wants is a waste of time. People will become less and less interested in conversing with such an individual.
- Making it right: Include the people you’re speaking with in the discussion. For this to happen, the subject must be one that the majority of people are interested in. Maybe they didn’t interrupt you out of politeness because no one asked you something during your speech and they started talking about something else right after it?
6. Talking only about yourself
You tell a friend about your battle with your husband and how worried you are now, and she immediately starts telling you about her own fight, completely ignoring your story.
- Why don’t you: Such a person would easily be branded as egotistical and annoying.
- Doing it right: Yes, we like to speak about ourselves above all else. There was also an experiment in which people were given money if they would talk about something else, but no one succeeded. That’s why, if you just show interest in them, you’ll quickly win them over. Plus, since they’ll be paying more attention to you, you’ll be able to tell them more about yourself.
5. Talking badly about others, including common acquaintances
- Why not: It’s convenient to laugh together at your coworker’s crazy outfit because it’s the fastest way to find anything in common. Other thoughts may arise, such as, “Today he/she is laughing at someone else; will it be me tomorrow?”
- Doing it correctly: People admire and appreciate those who have the opportunity to see the best in others. Critical comments should be avoided at all costs.
4. Speaking in hushed tones or with a lack of confidence
- Why don’t you: It’s difficult to listen to anyone who stutters or speaks softly because they seem to be unsure of what they’re doing or whether anyone cares.
- Doing it right: Look at the person you’re speaking to and talk loudly and clearly, whether it’s a story, a question, or a simple “thank you.”
3. Offering a one- or two-word answer
- Why don’t you: One-word responses give the impression that you’re either shy or don’t want to chat. Neither of these things help you make a strong first impression.
- Doing it correctly: Give time for the discussion to grow. Consider the following: “Cyberborough is where I’m from. That’s not far from the city of Chicago. There are some amazing views there! But forget about the name. I’m the only IT expert on the premises.”
- Whining repels, so why not? Particularly if you don’t seem to want to do something about your life or, at the very least, ask for advice.
- Doing it correctly: Don’t be afraid to talk about your issues. Someone who is still “never better” is a little suspicious. By the way, your friends would be delighted to assist you or provide suggestions. Yet, don’t whine too much in the hopes that they’ll feel sorry for you.
1. Disobeying your own rules
- Why not? A person who does not have their own point of view will not leave an impression on others. They aren’t worth considering. No one knows who you are. It’s even worse when someone says one thing and then does the exact opposite: it’s almost impossible to take them seriously.
- Doing it right: People who publicly share their beliefs, obey them, and are not afraid to speak up for what they believe in (even if it means going against the majority) deserve respect.